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{"id":18513,"date":"2014-11-25T22:20:37","date_gmt":"2014-11-25T21:20:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.galjar.se\/?p=18513"},"modified":"2014-11-25T22:24:27","modified_gmt":"2014-11-25T21:24:27","slug":"hundplageri-sager-iris","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/?p=18513","title":{"rendered":"Hundpl\u00e5geri, s\u00e4ger Iris"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Nu har jag varit s\u00e5 j\u00e4vla boring i en vecka att Iris \u00e4r redo att l\u00e4gga in annons p\u00e5 blocket och s\u00f6ka en ny matte.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c4ven om jag f\u00f6rklarat det f\u00f6rut; n\u00e4r det \u00e4r manusstopp f\u00f6r tidningen sitter matte bara framf\u00f6r datorn med skitit, rufsigt h\u00e5r och stirrar p\u00e5 sk\u00e4rmen och sv\u00e4r all ledig tid efter jobbet. Iris ska ha cred f\u00f6r att hon k\u00e4mpar dock, hon g\u00f6r mig uppm\u00e4rksam p\u00e5 att hon finns och att jag egentligen borde vara med henne p\u00e5 alla m\u00f6jliga s\u00e4tt under tiden.<\/p>\n<p>Saker som testats denna g\u00e5ng \u00e4r;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Stirra p\u00e5 matte tills matte undrar om du kan l\u00e4sa hennes tankar och inte kan koncentrera sig p\u00e5 datorn.<\/li>\n<li>Pip.<\/li>\n<li>Funkar det inte pip l\u00e4ngre och h\u00f6gre, hon klarar inte det mer \u00e4n 1 minut och 18 sekunder som l\u00e4ngst.<\/li>\n<li>Slicka dig p\u00e5 s\u00e5ret p\u00e5 tassen som du inte f\u00e5r slicka p\u00e5 och sluta varje g\u00e5ng hon kommer in i rummet s\u00e5 att hon inte kan vara s\u00e4ker p\u00e5 att du faktiskt slickade p\u00e5 just tassen.<\/li>\n<li>G\u00e5 och l\u00e4gg dig n\u00e5gonstans och var s\u00e5 tyst att matte till slut blir s\u00e5 nerv\u00f6s av att du \u00e4r tyst att hon kommer och letar upp dig (varning f\u00f6r att hon stundtals\u00a0f\u00f6rsvinner in helt i sk\u00e4rmen\u00a0och inte kommer ih\u00e5g att du finns p\u00e5 en timme innan hon reagerar \u00f6ver den onaturliga tystnaden.)<\/li>\n<li>Kl\u00e4ttra upp p\u00e5 matte och klamra dig fast d\u00e4r tills hon av d\u00e5ligt samvete och obekv\u00e4mlighet \u00f6ver att ha trettio kilo olycklig och uppm\u00e4rksamhetskr\u00e4vande klump p\u00e5 sin arm ger upp och fr\u00e5gar om ni ska g\u00e5 en promenad i st\u00e4llet.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/25nov14.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-18514\" src=\"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/25nov14.jpg\" alt=\"25nov14\" width=\"620\" height=\"415\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/25nov14.jpg 620w, https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/25nov14-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nu har jag varit s\u00e5 j\u00e4vla boring i en vecka att Iris \u00e4r redo att l\u00e4gga in annons p\u00e5 blocket och s\u00f6ka en ny matte. \u00c4ven om jag f\u00f6rklarat det f\u00f6rut; n\u00e4r det \u00e4r manusstopp f\u00f6r tidningen sitter matte bara framf\u00f6r datorn med skitit, rufsigt h\u00e5r och stirrar p\u00e5 sk\u00e4rmen och sv\u00e4r all ledig tid &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/?p=18513\" class=\"more-link\">Forts\u00e4tt l\u00e4sa<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> \u201dHundpl\u00e5geri, s\u00e4ger Iris\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_oct_exclude_from_cache":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18513"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18513"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18518,"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18513\/revisions\/18518"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.galjar.se\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}